I wrote this a little while back for my wonderful sister in Christ Lene and really wanted to share it with the folks that follow me. Be sure to give Lene a visit because she has wonderful material, she’s super encouraging especially on the subject of waiting for marriage and she helped me out tremendously 🙂
Before I say anything I would like to make it very clear that sex in and of itself is not a sin, it is a creation of God used to join two individuals together, express love and affection and to reproduce. Sex becomes a sin if it is before marriage, and/or with people other than your spouse and/or with someone of the same gender.
Growing up my generation viewed virginity as a weight that needed to be lifted off of our shoulders. Personally I hated this perspective, not because I was a goodie two shoes or had a righteous view on sex at the time, but because I was absolutely TERRIFIED of being intimate with someone. So much so that when I had the opportunity to lose my proverbial V card at 13 I prayed that it wouldn’t work out.
Thankfully God answered that prayer!!!
But of course this wouldn’t be the only pressuring situation that I would find myself in. My family was quite fond of the idea of a male losing his virginity early. It was a common view that the longer you went without losing your “innocence” the more of a “loser” you were. When some family members of mine got wind of the fact that “IT” didn’t go down when it was supposed to, I was given an ultimatum; either lose my virginity by 16 or they would bring me to a brothel and pay for me to have my first sexual experience.
The pressure as a young teen to lose your virginity was so heavy that in order to relieve himself of the “shame” a friend of mine with great lament gave his virginity to a girl in our neighborhood that was known to sleep around with several different men. To my surprise he wasn’t scrutinized a bit for it, in fact it seemed as though people deemed it to be better to lose your virginity to someone who “got around” than to still be a virgin. The tables were actually turned on me and I was asked why I still haven’t done it yet. We were about sixteen at the time so to me this was befuddling.
Why encourage someone so young to have sex and before they are ready? Why do high schools, middle schools and even a couple of elementary schools hand out condoms to their students? Why is a sex symbol like Kim Kardashian making appearances at the kids choice awards?
Satan tries his best to attack you in your adolescence so when you become an adult he doesn’t have to work as hard to get you to stumble or fall. He sets you up with preconceived notions about love, sex, marriage and God so that when you grow up and read about the right way of doing things, you find that it is contrary to what society approves of and you become indifferent and are less inclined to abide by the laws that God established. Essentially when we become adults and study our bibles we have to reprogram the mind that Satan molded throughout our childhood.
Why is premarital sex glorified in the media today? Why are men praised for having sexual relations with multiple partners and why are women looking for moral equality in this category?
After convincing the world that sex is permissible outside the confines of marriage, Satan decided to make it a matter of equal moral rights. Women would like to be praised or at least not ridiculed for having many partners. This just creates a demand for equal dispense of pleasantries in regards to sinning. Two wrongs don’t make a right but it all starts with our behavior as males. We have to stop praising one another for wrongdoings and start encouraging each other to resist temptation. Sexual tension is one of the hardest things to ignore. When you feel yourself getting riled up with lust and you quiver beneath your loins, the only thing you seek is to relieve yourself of this sultry sensation that overwhelms your body. This is why it is such a pivotal weapon for Satan to use against us. It is way too difficult to ignore our flesh when it craves satisfaction. As MEN OF GOD we have to practice self control Thessalonians 4:3-5 says, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God;”
The world glorifies debauchery but we as Christian men are called to be different because all of what we do represents God and Gods word says, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people” (Ephesians 5:3), and “be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”(Romans 12:2).
Please understand that sexual immorality is not just a matter of “if I sin God will be upset with me.” Every time temptation knocks on your door a war breaks out in the spiritual realm and whenever you give in to a lust you are giving control to other worldly beings who are dedicated to bringing about your destruction. Ephesians 6:12 “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”
We are legitimate warriors for Christ and if we are with the world we stand against Jesus and will one day be judged by Him. So it is important that every day we suit up for the Lord and combat the world instead. Dawn the full armor of God and silence your flesh! Gain control and be a REAL MAN!!! Set an example that women and younger generations can look up to.
Waiting for marriage isn’t just saving yourself for the perfect woman. It is a beautiful example of obedience and reverence for God. It also is a showing of true strength and self control. Don’t just be a man be an illustration of a Godly man.