It is an honor to have this amazing woman of God guest post on JulianforJesus. She has some amazing material on her website song of virginity That I encourage every reader to go check out and follow. Her genuine heart for God is hard to miss as she is so transparent with her desire to uplift His community, bring glory to Him and lead the younger generation of warriors in the right direction. Here is her awe inspiring story about a defining moment in her life that!
A “defining moment” is interpreted: “A point at which the essential nature or character of a person, group,etc., is revealed or identified”. I looked it up online.
I realized that most of my “defining moments” in my brain bank are actually just “aha” moments…
I do have a few defining moments though, but this one stands out like neon on a billboard.
In 2011 I lived in Yokohama (Japan) and attended a wonderful lively church. I had been Christian for about 1 1/2 year and had baptism on my mind. The church had several baptisms pr. year but always at the beach.
A quirk revealed: I really don’t appreciate sand between my toes… Really don’t!!
But there was something in my heart that earnestly longed to be raised to a life in Christ. Full immersion, all in. I couldn’t have it any other way.
I squirmed by the thought of having a baptism at the beach! But decided that for Jesus I would do it. So it was planned… and the Lord had mercy on me, as the pastor the following week announced that the next baptism would be in the Chinese church’s baptistry… Imagine my surprise and grateful heart.
At the baptism class (mandatory at the church) we were told that the week leading up to the baptism we could and should expect satan to become very active. Because making the decision to follow Jesus into death and life would literally get the nasty sucker real angry.
Let me tell you: He did!!
I was supposed to write my testimony and email it to the church. But I was staring into a blank sheet of electronic paper, unable to write down anything. I ended up writing 2 lines and sending it off with my apologies.
Tuesday morning, before my Saturday baptism, things went totally south. I was a wreck. Doubting anything and everything including and especially my faith.
How could I possibly be baptized when I couldn’t even write down my testimony!?! That was when I lost it… to the point of me screaming and yelling at God and actually giving Him the ultimatum of “You better prove to me that I belong to You, or You can take your baptism and s* it”. I remember those words ever so clearly.
Then I got myself together and got on with my day… satan won that battle; he had me doubting if I was truly saved…
A few hours later, between the train station and Yokohama park on my way to Japanese lessons, I was suddenly overwhelmed by this feeling of being the worst human being on planet earth. My heart felt like it had committed the worst crime known to man and as I entered the park, my legs began to cave in and tears began to roll. I frantically found my way to a stone so I could sit down and gather myself a bit. I couldn’t understand what was happening and why I was crying.
As I got up and walked towards a corner of the park, away from the many passing people, tears rolled freely and as I found a bench to sit on, I began to wail out loud and I didn’t care.
Then my heart began to whisper “I’m sorry… I’m sorry… Please, I’m sorry” and in that very second, a peace came rushing towards my heart and I went from completely broken down to laughing out loud.
Pretty sure the people in the park thought I was a lunatic… But I didn’t care.
Then I realized this was God’s way of telling me who I belong to!!
Oh how I thanked Him. And then He whispered: “Now, Go and get Baptized!”
I ran to the Starbucks on the corner and got in contact with my beloved adopted father of faith, asking him if I had been living a lie for 1 1/2 year – if what I had just experienced was an actual salvation… His words were: “God can show you that you are His, any way He pleases”. I can never forget those words.
God chiseled His Name in my heart that day. And what’s more: He did it when I committed the sin of putting my God to the test! Even then, He stooped down and claimed me for Himself.
I’m His and tears still well up when I remember that morning.
He did it on the cross and He did it in Yokohama park. He can do it for anyone.
I was, by the way, baptized the following Saturday and I ended up giving possibly one of the longest testimonies in the history of the church.