Doubt is like a spiritual disease, I call it paleohyperdoubtapathy. This word when broken down means the ancient disease regarding an excessive amount of doubt. I among many fellow believers have been given no reason whatsoever to doubt the power of God. He truly has shown me just how able He is. I have a whole new perspective and understanding of the words of Jeremiah in chapter 32 v 17 in the book of Jeremiah because of all that God has shown me and brought me through, “Ah Lord God! behold, thou hast made the heaven and the earth by thy great power and stretched out arm, and there is nothing too hard for thee.”, and the words of Jesus in Matthew 17:20 weathered the storm that I was facing when I wrote full plate, and God wont let me “… if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” With all of this being said, the only question is
WHY DO I STILL DOUBT.
It kills me sometimes when I look back on RECENT events and see how God worked in my life and then when a new challenge comes about I’m like, “uuuhhh Lord how could you possibly help me here?”
To get my prayers answered I know the remedy, I know all of the ingredients, In fact it is so simple that it is nearly impossible to forget. All I need is to have faith, pray for Gods will and remove all doubt from my heart when I call upon the Lord for help and trust that He will deliver.
The sad thing is, that’s way easier said than done. It just seems too difficult to refrain from doubting that the outcome of a unpleasant situation will be in my favor
One of my worst fears is having Jesus stand right next to me in the midst of a situation and hearing Him say, “Oh ye of little faith”
Man that would sting. But I draw encouragement in knowing that this issue is not an issue that only plagues this generation of believers. Jesus’ disciple Peter who is regarded as one of the closest people to Jesus witnessed many miracles first hand and was given the power to perform miracles as well and still found himself doubting Jesus on a consistent basis.
Don’t get me wrong peter had tremendous faith as well, which is why he was capable of walking on water with Jesus, but when he saw the power of the wind his faith turned to doubt which caused him to sink
That is quite symbolic isn’t it?
We can see God perform some of the most amazing things in our lives and still find ourselves doubting when we see how overwhelming our struggle is. We begin to doubt that God’s power can match the immense power of the obstacle we are facing.
As I try to solve this mind boggling mystery of unwarranted doubt, the only conclusion I can draw is, The reason why we doubt God even after He has brought us to the mountain top and back is because God in the midst of it all has such a subtle presence, while the presence of the storm we are facing is bold and in our face.
Gods presence in our struggle is a lot like Jesus’ demeanor in the thick of the storms He faced in the Gospels. During the storm in Matthew 8 Jesus was fast asleep, and during the storm in Matthew 14 Jesus decided to take a stroll on the water while waves thrashed crashed and tossed the disciples ship every which way.
Jesus was never worried or frantic, He never moved at any other pace except for His own and He never acted abruptly. He knew the outcome of every situation and casually solved the problems that He faced.
We doubt because while we struggle or worry we don’t feel God worrying with us, so that makes us feel alone. For example if I were drowning and screaming at the top of my lungs I would expect the life guard to hop down from his observation tower and zip through the water lightning fast to my rescue because the both of us were worried that I would drown. But Its not like that with God. God nonchalantly calms our storms and encourages us to be still and know that He is God.
To be still in the midst of great tribulation takes a massive amount of faith and trust. It is like looking right into the eye of a hurricane and not moving a muscle because you know that somehow the water will part to the sides of you like how they did when Moses parted the red sea.
So this has been my latest journey with God, exercising my faith and being still, but I still have a lot more to face and a long way to go before I’m anywhere near where the destination that God has planned for me. But I’m thankful that God gives me more of an understanding each day with this matter and helping me to let go of my doubt and let Him work.