Falling, at this point you’d think that I would have it all figured out. You’d think falling would be a thing of the past for me. You’d think I’d never mess up because of how far I’ve come with God. Reading everyday, praying throughout, going to church, trying my best to always make sure that I am dawning the full armor of God, and giving myself over to him completely; nothing, nothing at all can keep me from feeling that rigid, cold, heartless, lucrative concrete that forces so many to taste its cemented flavor of death. It’s tiring It’s disappointing, and it hurts your spirit so badly to fail God when facing these obstacles. At my lowest point I began to read the book of Romans chapter one. THIS MADE EVERYTHING WORSE!!! Chapter one of the book of Romans will make you feel like heaven is so far from an achievable goal that you will want to give up completely on God. I felt dirty, I felt disgusting, I felt defeated and ready to throw in the towel when I decided to turn the page and keep reading.
One thing I learned about God is, He can be a tough lover. He will bring you to the point to where you feel six feet under just to take you over the hill. It’s like a sling shot, sometimes in order to hit your target you have to draw the pocket back really far so the projectile can travel as far as it needs to go. We are the projectile, the target is Gods will, and the pocket represents the obstacles. The projectile is always in front of the pocket which is ironic because before conquering them we are greater than the obstacles that God sets in front of us, and we are to use those things to push us forward toward the will of God.
As I continued to read I came across chapter 3 and learned about a little something called grace. I learned that we have all fallen short and that it is actually an expectation. God does not want us thinking that somehow we can earn heaven. There is nothing we can do to earn heaven, blessings, or grace. He gives these things freely to those who seek and follow Him.He wants us to understand that He is so loving to us that though we sin against Him we are already forgiven and given the most wonderful prize of all if we just continue to follow the ways of Jesus and never give up on Him. He wants us to pick ourselves up and continue to be saints, not sulk over the fact that we’ve got another blemish on our record. Being down about a mistake you’ve made is the equivalent of believing that your good work brings you closer to obtaining heaven, “and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith. He did this to demonstrate his righteousness, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished- he did it to demonstrate his righteousness at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.” (Romans 3:24-26)
If I didn’t keep reading I wouldn’t know this. If I would have given up I would still believe that falling down would be my downfall; but Jesus came to put this concept to rest, “For God sent not his son to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.”(John 3:17) . Now when I stumble, fall, or fail out of reverence I ask for forgiveness and use my struggle to make myself stronger and help others to prosper. Now I know that whenever I fall to just reach my hand out to God and He will set me straight.